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let me off-

2005'12.12
I am meeting so many people this week. I want my time at home. I want my solitude. Even though I know I said that I am afraid of loneliness. I sound like I am pushing everyone away, but I want my time alone and I thought I could. But I can't.

Please, don't remember my birthday.

I know the SHUUJI in me is appearing again, but I can't help it.

Even if you wish me a "Happy Birthday", I don't mind it. I appreciate it. There are people (loads of them) out there who prefer celebrating birthdays with friends, and celebrating at home, simply staying at home, is a no-no. I'm sorry if I sound like an obaa-chan, but I think otherwise.

The way I put it makes it look like I don't like having friends. I LOVE MY FRIENDS! Every single one out there. But.

I am tired.

I want my time alone.

I've been being nice all through out my 16 years. Do I want to make it a 17? I've been accomodating people. I be nice because I am scared of people hating me. I am soft-hearted. I hurt myself. And also others, by lying to them about my feelings.

I AM A COMPLETE LIE. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR.

Of course, I know there are loads of people out there who have tolerated me. I know! I am a hassle, I am very troublesome. I thank you for your tolerance. But everybody has different levels of tolerance. Min is really low.

I am a selfish liar.

I don't want to do it.

Was it wrong to make so many friends?

No, I want to tell myself it wasn't.

But how do I do that?

I'm really, really tired.
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Everyday Life : trackback(0) : comment(8)

このコメントは管理者の承認待ちです

-:2005/12/12(月)   [編集]

このコメントは管理者の承認待ちです

-:2005/12/12(月)   [編集]

このコメントは管理者の承認待ちです

-:2005/12/12(月)   [編集]

Dun be depressed ne!
Hahax. Though i dunno you, but reading your blog makes me feel that you are someone real nice! *nods head frantically*

So smilez! *hugglez*

Fujiwara:2005/12/13(火) URL  [編集]

yeah lor yeah lor dun need to be depressed
see
kusano's wife also concerned for u leh !

heh XD

mrs kusano:2005/12/13(火) URL  [編集]

このコメントは管理者の承認待ちです

-:2005/12/14(水)   [編集]

このコメントは管理者の承認待ちです

-:2005/12/14(水)   [編集]

aiyohh wanting to be alone is definitely normal!!
i too, prefer staying at home (: we cant always spend time with our friends, it might get rather draining.
furthermore it's your birthday!! you have the right to do what you want to do okay? yepp. nobody will hate you de lah! at least not me (:
anyhows i miss u too! hope we can meet up at least once to go to stock up on sweets before.. -gasps- school starts ):
this is rather weird but im glad you voiced your opinion ne (: because i wouldnt know how you felt otherwise.
dont think so much okay? -hugs
i demand the cheery shiroi-chan back!!! v-16

vk (::2005/12/14(水) URL  [編集]

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上記広告は1ヶ月以上更新のないブログに表示されています。新しい記事を書くことで広告を消せます。