I am meeting so many people this week. I want my time at home. I want my solitude. Even though I know I said that I am afraid of loneliness. I sound like I am pushing everyone away, but I want my time alone and I thought I could. But I can't.
Please, don't remember my birthday.
I know the SHUUJI in me is appearing again, but I can't help it.
Even if you wish me a "Happy Birthday", I don't mind it. I appreciate it. There are people (loads of them) out there who prefer celebrating birthdays with friends, and celebrating at home, simply staying at home, is a no-no. I'm sorry if I sound like an obaa-chan, but I think otherwise.
The way I put it makes it look like I don't like having friends. I LOVE MY FRIENDS! Every single one out there. But.
I am tired.
I want my time alone.
I've been being nice all through out my 16 years. Do I want to make it a 17? I've been accomodating people. I be nice because I am scared of people hating me. I am soft-hearted. I hurt myself. And also others, by lying to them about my feelings.
I AM A COMPLETE LIE. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR.
Of course, I know there are loads of people out there who have tolerated me. I know! I am a hassle, I am very troublesome. I thank you for your tolerance. But everybody has different levels of tolerance. Min is really low.