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maji kowai. : (

2005'11.11
I think why we ended up like this today will be analysed that it was my fault eventually. Because I said one sentence months ago that probably started it all?

To say I felt hurt would make it look like she was the one at fault, but she is not. I was guilty of what she said.

Do you think... Do you think we'd never talk to each other again?

At the same time... I felt like I really had no common sense and worst of all...I felt like I was used.

AND I feel guilty.
Guilty.
Guilty.
Still guilty.

Then why of all things did she give me such a sincere smile and say "it's alright" before...? Yes, please call me a stupid baka. She may have said thanks to me that I have done a lot for the group, but... In actual fact the things I could do, I didn't. I whine, I complain, but I don't do it. I do my job, but why don't I do the things I can do that is beyond my job scope?

I am sitting here not knowing if I should finish off what I did for ______ already.

If I say "sorry", I think it's useless because actions show more than those two syllables that can mean nothing at all.

By the way...
Thank you Vicky.
And...
Even though it's useless, but I'm sorry, _____ .
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