There's something wrong with me today but I don't know what's wrong. I feel so stressed, and I asked myself if it was because of my busy schedule, my exams coming up and my PW work and my CCA andhow the hell everybody isn't working together. But my answer was a no. Why I answered no to that, I don't know. But this tress comes from this tiredness more than just physical exhaustion.
Yes I am feeling lost again. I don't know what to do, really. I am afraid of what will happen. I am afraid of being too vulnerable and letting everybody know about me. I have so many things I want to say but I know I shouldn't say too much about them.
I have many complaints but I can't do anything about them except complain and complain, and it doesn't help at all. Why can't I do anything? I've tried, like time and time again, but I get the feeling that nobody's listening. I gave up after that.
I still have no idea where that stress comes from. I wonder if I will cry in the shower. Another day just passed and nothing went exactly smoothly. I put in my effort. No matter how tired I was I struggled, and then people don't cooperate.
It's not just that that makes me vexed today.
I don't know the other reasons. Maybe it's because I don't know the other reasons that I feel lost and angry. I nearly threw my phone down.
And something random is that I tihnk nobody will think that Shuting and me can get angry so they just do all they like with us. It's because they haven't tried our limits. We are not to be pushovers just because we look so studious and easy-going. We're merely trying to accomodate everyone, not trying to show how easily we can be bullied.
I don't believe in the theory of "I'll get my job done at my own time, whether you have time or not and whether you complete YOUR job or not does not concern me. The rest of the team can blame you for it". Well, somebody would know my woes.
My whole body aches today but I haven't done much activity except sit in front of the computer and lying in front of the TV watching a movie.