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and my poor fool is hanged;


You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

...the whole quiz was only on the Majjor Arcana cards...? Anyway, I got this from Kelly's blog. xP OMG I miss sis-in-law!

Suddenly feel like reading up on Greek mythology again. It's fascinating :DDD But I don't know what books there are on it, and I don't exactly like the jumbled up information online. The Illiad is still untouched in my cupboard. ...because I'm reading LotR now. And hey I want to read the original fairy tales too.. after Louisa told me that they were never meant to be so beautiful and bright in actual but were modified for children. Wow.

(on the Fool tarot card)

The conventional explanations say that the Fool signifies the flesh, the sensitive life, and by a peculiar satire its subsidiary name was at one time the alchemist, as depicting folly at the most insensate stage. When The Fool appears in a spread, he would be a signal to strip down to the irreducible core, and interrogate whether The Querant’s self vision is obscured. It may also be a warning that significant change is coming.

Some comparisons can be made in universal literature, the Fool would be considered the youngest son or daughter who accomplishes great feats despite the older siblings apparent better position. Cinderella, Psyche, Cordelia (from King Lear), all the third sons of kings in fairy tales who succeed when their older brothers do not; the Grail Knight who may be destined to locate the Holy Cup, where greater and wiser men have tried and failed; the one teetering at the edge of Nietzsche’s abyss, at the cusp of dreadful knowledge that will pull him or her out of the cave or even Hamlet before he decides to embrace his destiny.

There is a dog who appears in most versions of the card. The dog, for example, would symbolize the natural world, one path to knowledge and a valuable ally.

Although it cannot be seen in all modern cards, The Fool is often walking off a cliff. This raises the question "Is The Fool making a mistake, or is The Fool making a leap of faith?"

A quote: Gandhi said once, “If you would swim on the bosom of the ocean of Truth, you must reduce yourself to a zero.” The Fool can be seen as that Zero who can swim in the deeper waters up mentioned.

Another issue surrounding the fool is "Who is calling him The Fool?"

Lol, I scrolled down and read the last 3 paragraphs and was thinking of King Lear immediately. Then I read back on the previous few paragraphs and caught King Lear' and Cordelia's names there. x) Ever since I started studying Literature and getting to know Shakespeare's works (shamefully, I have ever only read three of his works and have seen none on the stage itself, but only of videos), my admiration for fools grew. (:

But my favourite character in King Lear would have to be EDGAR! <3 At the start I didn't have a good impression of him, because he was gullible, and did what he was told to do. At that point, my favourite character was Cordelia. But as Quanmin said, throughout the whole Lear experience, Cordelia has appeared just a bit too perfect. Still, I love Cordelia. One of the scenes which moved me to tears even just from reading the script was when a gentleman came in to report Cordelia's response to the letter to Kent. Even though we do not hear and see the action from Cordelia herself, just from the gentleman's speech, we can see Cordelia trying to suppress her feelings and the immense pain she felt at that moment.

I grew to like Edgar more during the A Levels. LOL. Queer timing. But what touched me was when I did the context question, out of not wanting to attempt the essay questions, I analysed and re-analysed Edgar's speech, and I wish I could have time to weep. (Darn I sound so emo.)

Come on, sir, here's the place. Stand still. How fearful
And dizzy 'tis to cast one's eyes so low!
The crows and choughs that wing the midway air
Show scarce so gross as beetles. Halfway down
Hangs one that gathers samphire, dreadful trade!
Methinks he seems no bigger than his head.
The fishermen that walk upon the beach
Appear like mice, and yon tall anchoring barque
Diminished to her cock, her cock a buoy
Almost too small for sight. The murmuring surge
That on the unnumbered iddle pebble chafes
Cannot be head, it's so high. I'll look no more,
Let my brain turn and the deficient sight
Topple down headlong.

Edgar takes such great pains to describe the non-existent cliff to Gloucester! (I could have read into it too much, but as Mrs. Gan says, reading itself is a creative process. =x) It's as though while he is supposed to sound scared, we can hear this tinge of pain in his voice. While he describes the cliff, it sounds so far down, "so high", but yet so near because of the references to "beetles" and "mice", which are small not because they are far away, but because they are in comparison to humans small. This seems to parallel the distance and relationship between Gloucester and Edgar, because Edgar is so near yet so far, as he is right beside his father, but he cannot reveal his identity to his father.

While Edgar speaks, his speech gradually changes into verse form, and it makes him sound much softer when in his father's presence, and we can see that he has gone through a learning journey of self-discovery, which he is trying to help Gloucester get through as well.

Although Edmund is really charismatic, by the end, Edgar is better loved and more attractive (in my opinion) because he needs no pretense to conjure up those magnificently beautiful and impactful words -- they come from his heart, whereas Edmund plays his charisma to his advantage to gain power.

So far, this is my favourite Shakespearean play, and the language is so powerful, the images so vivid, that they could make me cry any moment even when I am in the best of spirits.

...hmm why did I suddenly plunge into a discussion on King Lear?

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the last night.


L'Ultima Notte - Josh Groban

Chissa perche stai li cosi
con queglie occhi fissi su di me
vedrai che poi me passera
e che non m'aspettavo
Questa follia

Fingero mi abituero
Continuero in silenzio senza te

Solo resto coi ricordi
Domani tutto finira
Ma adesso resta qui
Qui con me perche sara
L'ultima notte insieme a te

Vedrai vedrai si aggiustera
Ora fa un po' male ma se ne adra
I sogni de eternita
Sono i piu duri da
Gettare via

Solo resto coi ricordi
Domani tutto finira
Ma adesso resta qui
Qui con me perche sara
L'ultima notte insieme a te

Seguiro sopportero
Questo gran dolore senza te

Solo resto coi ricordi
Domani tutto finira
Ma adesso resta qui
Qui con me perche sara
L'ultima notte insieme a te

Questa qui sara
L'ultima notte insieme
A te

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solo resto coi ricordi domani tutto finira;


I don't think Chinese characters would show up so I print screen-ed instead.

I took lots of photos recently (as in, not of myself, but of stuff I bought etc), but I'm lazy to edit and post them up.

My dad got me that dress from Pull And Bear which reminded me of Tsuyoshi, but I didn't get the purple one though (which would REALLY have been Tsuyo-style!) because I think the brown one suited me more. Purple was just a bit too loud. I never seem to look good in purple. Every single time I go out with my dad I feel guilty because I spend without thinking! Get me a job so I can give my parents money.. Guess what? He bought me December's Duet magazine! Uwaaa. And then we went to Daiso and he picked up this cute froggy ashtray for himself and I got random stuff like bells and 和風 origami paper. And my mum actually sponsored $50 for that dress.. Deep down inside I was really touched. Not for being able to buy that dress, but for my mum actually wanting to pamper me deeeeep down inside. Suddenly the dress became really insignificant as compared to this feeling.

Boo. I really want to earn money and pamper my parents now.

I have been addicted to green tea recently.

Oh, and I went out with my gang, minus Esther cos she was sick , on Thursday, since Waiyan had to fly off to Hong Kong the next day. We had lunch at Sakae Sushi, haha. I want some more.

Estherrrrrrr, we haven't gone to Vivocity together yet.

But for now, I have overspent in merely 3 days. It's the post-As spirit.

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Harmony of December;


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/farmer rabbit


兔ちゃん tours the kitchen!

-photo by sylvia.

당신은...나는 바보입니다. - Goong OST

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when every town looks just the same;


Adult onlies see that the experience of growing up as the only child has given them many positive qualities. They're capable, reliable, a good friend to others, sensitive, thoughtful, considerate, organised and responsible. And some themes have emerged very clearly too.

As children, most wanted more children to play with and were fascinated by larger families. Very few rebelled in their teenage years.

The intensity of the child/parent relationship, its potential invasiveness and lack of privacy has often led to feelings being locked inside. As adults, many have difficulty now expressing deep feelings in close relationships. Despite the independent image, they are still emotionally dependent on parents, or their memory.

An issue that looms large for everyone who has not already lost both parents is the loss of the last one, leaving them alone with no one, with whom to share family history.

The loneliness of the only child comes full circle.


Only child have this tendency to have just a few close friends and do not have as socially intense lives as others. It's true that maybe we suffer no less or no more than the people with siblings, but in this world where the world is cruel and would possibly leave one alone, it's terrifying for only child to think that they might be abandoned and left alone to the world one day.

Why do you envy us as only child(s)? I have heard so many people tell me, "You are so lucky! You are an only child! You can have everything you want! You don't need to fight with your sibling!" Does that really sound so fortunate? Actually, some of us secretly think the opposite, we think siblings are blessings. So what if they piss you off for stupidly minor things? At the end of the day, there's still someone there. But when you're an only child, all the gold and diamonds in the world won't replace that loneliness. Then tell me, what's so good about material gains? When your parents don't understand, who do you talk to? Of course there are friends, but they are not immediately there, and to throw every single thing on them, isn't that unfair?

So can you all just stop saying "you are so lucky because you are an only child"? Are we so lucky? I'm not saying that having siblings is lucky, but that it's a little bit more comforting to know that you have other people there along with you.

Oh this is darn funny xD

HAHA. There are other funnier ones such as the Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, and Aladdin ones.. "Get your own room." LOL.

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Was feeling lonely so I started to talk to myself through doodling again and I drew this! :D
other sketchbook doodle(s):
[Chae Gyung]

The song I used for the previous video on messages to my classmates was 「空風の帰り道」by Mr.Children. I liked that song so I, er, tried translating it... It's not very good, because I never really took Japanese lessons but generally this is what it means.

空風の帰り道 (A Dry Wind Blows On The Way Home) - Mr.Children

空っ風が吹いたから(A dry wind blows)
少し手をつないで歩こうよ (We walk a little while holding hands)
花や草木に習い僕ら(Following the flowers and plants we)
かるく揺れながら (Lightly sway along)

昨晩見にテレビの中 (Last night I saw from the TV)
病の子供が泣いていた (A sick child was crying)
だからじゃないがこうしていられること(it is not the reason, _________)
感謝をしなくちゃな (I am thankful)

今日の日が終わる (Today has ended)
また来週に会える (We’ll meet again next week)
「さよなら」は悲しい響きだけど (“Goodbye” has a sad sound to it but)
君とならば愛の言葉 (With you it’s like words of love)

悔やんでも嘆いてても (Even if we _____ or moan)
時間は過ぎてしまうから (Time has passed by, so)
花や草木に習い僕ら(Following the flowers and the plants)
黙って手を振ろう (Quietly we waved our hands)

今日の日が終わる (Today has ended)
また必ず会える (But we’ll meet again)
「さよなら」は悲しい響きだけど (“Goodbye” has a sad sound to it but)
僕が言えば愛の言葉 (I say it as words of love)

空っ風が吹いたから (The dry wind blows)
ポケットに手を入れて歩くよ (I walk with my hands in my pocket)
花や草木に習い僕は (Following the flowers and the plants, I)
向かい風を受けて (Feel the wind blow against me)
一人でバス停まで (Alone at the bus stop)
空っ風の帰り道 (On the road home when the dry wind blows)

ソメイヨシノ - Domoto Tsuyoshi
(Wow I haven't listened to this album in MONTHS.)

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everyone needs to be loved;


to all the homo sapiens (and aliens) in 05A1. (:

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Lots and lots of random photos!
I guess I kind of missed summer (er yeah it's summer all year round in Singapore huh) so I played around with my camera, yukata and windmill. xD Ididn'twear the obi so it's all loose! xP The railing photo was taken at Vivocity. I think the outside is my favourite of every place at Vivocity な~ And the origami dragon I made is really disgraceful can !! But I still like that photo anyway.

ふふふ~ I miss using my camera... 早くよ、I want that photo outing with Loulou and Esther... Maybe along the way we can go to Fort Canning Park or something (the one near Liang Court) and catch an old ah peh sleeping there Or Bukit Timah, or wherever with pretty things to take photos of!

I miss fish roe sushi at Meidiya... 食べたい!!

Ooh time for dinner.

Un Dia Llegara - Josh Groban


You're lying right!!!! This looks entirely like TEGOSHI!!!
(It's Yul from Goong by the way.)

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わぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ~ Somebody stop me from changing blogskins! I still like my previous though.

I'm almost done for European History. That is, content-wise. But I am so dead for econs and SEA History! Super tired. And I'm still slacking. When am I going to learn? Some miracle might save me. I feel that a laminated certificate isn't "life" but it is for life, no matter how unfortunate that is. What's my 12 years of studying going to churn out?

Guess what? I'm addicted to Goong!! I must be the last person in my clique to have got hooked onto it (hm except Wai Yan, but I don't think she likes Japanese/Korean dramas). But I forced myself to stop at the third episode because I needed to finish up Russian Revolution. Oh, and do a bit of Econs. I actually think that when Yul gets emotional and looks at the ground, he looks like Tegoshi. The same baby face xD

When I look at the Jyannis boys, I get motivated to study, because even people like Tegoshi who hate studying can get into Waseda! And Sho at Kei-o and Yamapi and Keii-chan in Meiji University... Then there are people who never 'completed' their education (is it ever possible to complete education?) have made it... But when I think again, the people who have gotten into these top five Japanese universities have worked a hundred times harder than me, and even if they couldn't go to university... They were in JE already, they had a pretty much stable job and future (as long as they don't do anything wrong), and they don't have to worry. Or else if -touchwood- they had to pick another path, they would probably be well-trained by the challenging industry. University for them is an alternative route.

But for me, it's almost the only route. Because there's nothing I can really do other than studying, at present. Then I ask myself, why am I not working harder? In this world, to survive, you have to be useful to society, and not yourself. I don't know, people say you can fulfil both, but it's not that easy, is it?

Youthful Days - Mr.Children

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見て見て! アリスのファイルよ! きれいでしょう? 紀伊国屋に見つけたんだ。 すごく嬉しいですよ!

I bet there's grammar mistakes in there but who cares?

I'm having a bit of a cold. I guess it's because of the weather, it's been raining recently.

I went to Liang Court to 勉強 with みちゃん yesterday! 楽しいです! We met "big shot" people haha. And also a person who talked really loudly when she was talking about 「Death Note」, as though she was showing off that she knew a lot about Death Note. HAHAHHH.

At 紀伊国屋 we saw 「Snap no Shingo」 and Tsuyo's photobook, both of which could not be opened to be browsed through...

<--this will forever remind me of MASSU. HAHA! The ブタ-lover.

When will お金 drop from the sky so that we can get to 日本??!

Boo I really admire (yeah correct word to use!) みちゃん’s 折り紙 cranes! Darn. Let's get that 折り紙 book and after our 大変 times we can have some sort of er..... 折り紙 festival! Haha! I want to fold that onigiri. It really amused me to no end. Heh.

山下智久 doesn't smile in photoshoots anymore... Actually, I kind of missed his skinny face.

We were at 明治屋 before we went home, then we paused and heard KinKi Kids Pretty old songs, but very happy too ! We heard that song that goes, 「愛されるよりも...」...something like that. And yeaaaaahhh there was Jetcoaster Romance which I secretly like a lot! It makes me really happy. Oooh and not forgetting 夏の王様。 「オエオエ!」(To which みちゃん replied, "Oh eh 个屁啊!")

Random Things:
1) I want to watch Sample Bang again.
2) みちゃん only just knew recently that Uchi was imitating Winnie the Pooh on 堂本兄弟! -akira SHOCK-
3) I still want to write fanfics.
4) I always manage to miss NaNoWriMo every year. (National November Writing Month)
5) I forgot the hand actions to News Nippon, Kirameki no kanata E, Teppen, Venus and Sakura Tasuku Uta.
6) I miss watching Shounen Club.
7) I miss the Nobuta season when Pi kept acting drunk/baka on Shounen Club.
8) I miss baka Jin.
9) I am still convinced that Ueda is a girl.
10) Happy birthday to both Koki and Esther.
11) I got Hiro-chan's file for my birthday present! (From みちゃん!)

12) I owe her two years' worth of presents.
13) Tell me who kept saying 「まじで?!」 Was it Pi?
14) KEN-KEN!
15) I miss calling Tammy "Mrs.Yamashita"!
16) Read one of Shige's jweb entries on Binan No Nikki, and Keii-chan gives the most amusing road directions. x)
17) I miss reading jweb entries ! Used to read every one posted up.
18) I miss Keii-chan!

Before I end, I want to say...
OMG I WANT 「Harmony of December」 single!
Yeaaaahhhhh it sounded more like a 春 song. But it's okay, I love KinKi Kids' songs like that. (:

 虹を見たんだ そこで世界は変わった。
(僕らの音 - Mr.Children)

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it doesn't matter if you fall;

* read it from right to left.

"So what if you fall down?
You can still stand up again, isn't that a good thing?
When you fall down, look at the sky
The seemingly endless blue sky is above you
Can you see it smiling at you?
I'm stil alive."


I cried when I read this in 「一公升の眼涙」。 (Sorry for the lousy translation, but if you understand Chinese, then fantastic, ignore the translation! )

GP was an entire flop! That must have been the worst AQ I have ever done in my life. But it is over. Our next war is on next week's Friday, prepare your guns PENS!!!

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I'm getting cold hands and cold feet. I don't know what's going to happen after this whole struggle is over. I try to tell myself, there are other things I can do even if after the effort, I don't make it through. (I hope I do make it through, of course.) A certificate isn't everything, money isn't everything. But no matter what I tell myself, I know that deep down inside, I am not so flexible and open-minded.

I don't want to think that I have wasted 12 years of studying. I want to tell myself that it was a very amazing experience because throughout, I had the chance to study my favourite subject, Literature. And my feelings about Literature being my life has never changed.

And I want to pursue it. I want to go deeper into books. But this strange 'new' world is so obsessed with a piece of laminated paper that we have all forgotten the joy of studying. We are like loyal fans (to put it in a nice way) of glossy, "majestic" certificates which we wear as our masks. When we glue it to our faces, no, we NAIL it to our faces, people drool and go, "Ooooh you're an extremely intelligent person right?" And of course, the grades and quality of masks vary.

In any case,
翔ちゃん、やまぴ、けいいちゃん、お願い!Please pass your べんきょう spirit to me!!

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you are loved, don't give up.


You Are Loved (Don't Give Up) -Josh Groban

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy, I
I will lift it for you
Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you, I,
I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well, I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
You Are Loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside, I'll,
I'll be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you, I,
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well, I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
You Are Loved

(You Are Loved)
You Are Loved
(You Are Loved)

Don't give up
(Don't give up)
It's just the weight of the world
(You Are Loved)

Don't give up
(Don't give up)
Everyone needs to be heard
(Don't give up)

You Are Loved
(You Are Loved)
(Don't give up)

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