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here, there must be something here;

2006'10.30
Baker Baker
baking a cake
make me a day
make me whole again
and I wonder
what's in a day
what's in you cake this time?

-'Baker Baker' by Tori Amos
スポンサーサイト

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boo.

2006'10.30

Domoto Tsuyoshi.
Darn. I miss his songs and variety show. Which are both inadvisable to do so, because:

1) His variety shows will suck all the time out of studying.

2) It is even more inadvisable to listen to his songs days before the exam because you might have the tendency to jump down the building. (Hmm okay that kind of amused me. )


うわぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ~! 可愛い!
After 21st November I can fangirl again ね!
約束よ~

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"medical sooplies!"

2006'10.29

...this was actually the reason why yesterday's study session was cancelled. I thought for a long time before I decided to watch "La Tigre E La Neve"! Yesterday's was a sneak preview, and it opens officially in Singapore on 2nd November, but by then our 'A' Levels would've started, so I decided to catch it yesterday, at GV Vivocity. (Pretty place.)

Roberto Benigni constantly wins his audience no matter how similar the storyline and characters. (:

Vivocity was quite...refreshing (for Singapore) and it's not the usual squarish design. I liked thebalcony the best (: If they had tablesand chairs there, I'd have run there to study. But too large a crowd wasn't an entirely pleasant thing. The cineplex was WOW.

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learn to be lonely.

2006'10.26


Learn To Be Lonely - Minnie Driver
(From The Phantom of the Opera 2004 OST)

Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you,
comfort and care for you?
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion
Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You've always known
Your heart was on its own
So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone
Learn to be lonely
life can be lived
life can be loved
Alone.

Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye.

('Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again' - The Phantom of the Opera)

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nobody. is. home.

2006'10.26
i think if you lost me you wouldn't care.

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there are no rules.

2006'10.24
Why don't they have guidelines for socialising?
I think I just pissed everyone off these few days.

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in my eyes you do no wrong;

2006'10.22

Josh Groban performs "You're Still You" on Ally McBeal.

Lip-sync, but LOL extremely adorable peformance! My favourite male singer! :D New album release on November 7th. Can't wait. (:

...you know what I currently wish to learn to do? I want to learn to know what I can share in conversations, and what I do not have to share. I want to know how to chat without making constant reference to myself and my worries. I need to stop bitching about others to my friends, and I desperately want to know if we don't talk about people, what else we can talk about. :(

Because every time I share my own problem with someone else, I feel so selfishly self-centered.

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the kingdom called Canteen.

2006'10.21



we owned the canteen
yeaaaaa. xP


So while there was Queen Lear, there were Queen Canteen 1 and Queen Canteen 2 too. Spastic photo and line but never ind. We were the only ones in the canteen so we started photowhoring. x) And we silently waited for invaders to move out, by doing what Guido from Life is Beautiful did. (In case you do not know, it means trying to magically wave your hands and fingers and chant out a wish to make it happen xD)

Damn funny LOL.

And I'm glad I said a sorry. (: I guess I realised it was the whole incident that I was angry/frustrated over, and not that particular person. Yeah. And thanks for accepting the apology. :))

I ADORE EVERYTHING ABOUT MRS GAN! Down to her toenails. (:

-photos by sylvia

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when there are clouds in the sky you'll get by;

2006'10.17


SMILE - Josh Groban

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by
If you smile
And maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

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things you should know about an ISFJ girl.

2006'10.17
"Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice." (http://typelogic.com/isfj.html)

While this stands true, nobody ever told you that
an ISFJ girl bears grudges if you've hit some spot in her heart.
Everyone expects the ISFJ girl, who "prove[s] over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty" to be the sweet, tolerant girl who SHOULD not voice out ugly opinions or lash out hurtful remarks about others.

Yes we are mean, we cannot let go, we cannot forgive (at least not easily). To tell the truth, I have never forgiven countless people. So you thought Sylvia was such a nice, forgiving girl!

It's tiring to bear grudges, so you ask me, why do I stupidly bear them? Like all other fools who have given the same excuse, this is me, and I have tried letting go but I couldn't. I have a secret desire inside, just like Pip (Great Expectations), to pay back, to take revenge, on the people who have hurt me. Why do you have to take me like I HAVE to be nice, because I have given you a chance and shown you I CAN be nice?

It's tiring to be fake and put on a happy smile and act all sweet when I don't mean it, but it's equally tiring to confront the issue harshly, so what should I do? Confront in a soft manner? Sorry, but I've learnt and learnt again and again that this is a stupid way to handle things because the world isn't all nice, really. It's tiring to be harsh, because after being all sweet to everyone and saying "It's okay" a million times and above, you form an expectation and worry for yourself that you need to be approved by others, to let others realise how nice you are, how beautiful you are. And then when you reveal what you think, people immediately say you're ugly without having known the truth. Then you have to learn to accept the fact that you just shattered your pretty reputation and you can't please half the population.

Thanks for calling me a bitch, and you are not forgiven. I don't accept apologies. What you've said is done and already done. It's what you meant, and you couldn't control it. It's your right to call me whatever you want. In your eyes I am a bitch. But I cannot tell you if I really am one.

Use me, abuse me, and you never learn. Ten years down the road, I bet I can still recite the list of people whom I bear grudges against. You think I'm cruel, I can't let go. TEACH me how to, for I cannot see the path before which I must take.

Now it comes to saying this, I have something else to comment about. In case anyone says then why did I tell a certain someone to change when I don't know how to change myself? Guess what, don't tell me we never told a certain someone what we felt could be learnt and improved on,but someone didn't take the hint. It wasn't even a hint, it was an outright honest comment. But obviously, no matter how many times the cycle repeats, someone just doesn't learn. You don't even care. You just say sorry and think that that will end everything. You said you tried to change, every single time this topic is brought up, but when we ask you, "What have you changed?" all you can do is smoke a lousy cigarette and tell us, "I did change a bit." but you have not answered our question. That's because you have no answers. Where's your trying?

Yes I sound harsh, but do you want to live in a world where I cheat your feelings and behind your back, I spit and curse?

And in case the scenario repeats like that girl who called me autistic which I haven't forgave and whom I wish I could slap, I tell you now I did NOT mention names in the post and thus you cannot say I was referring to you unless you were guilty of it.

I'm really tired, but all you can see is that you want me to fulfil your expectations. I don't forgive easily. But when I do, it means that you mean A WHOLE LOT to me. Among the list, I think I have only ever forgiven one person. The croo-croo-jer. Ha.

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卒業の日

2006'10.14


The bizzare mix of kids in 05A1. (:
Song: COSMOS - Spitz

edit: (found this on Siti's blog, so I went on YouTube to look for it.)


the low self-esteem in girls.

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maybe she's just pieces of me you didn't see;

2006'10.14

-photo by sylvia.

Went to Spotlight today and got these. Pretty, pretty buttons, lace and a fabric marker. Apparently I haven't studied, because I was too excited over wrapping gifts for my clique.

My dad called me a 笨蛋 when I walked into Sembawang and couldn't spot him, HURRRRR. But we're two 大笨蛋s anyway, so it's even. Papa bought Josh Groban's album for me ! "Hey~ Josh Groban-" "Buy."

Then we went to Spotlight and got pretty pretty buttons :D ...which he couldn't see the beauty in them. >=|

At Daiso, we kept grabbing stuff off the shelves. Actually, I merely touched any single item and you'll know he'd say, "BUY." I think he uses that word as his full-stop or something. But of course I didn't get everything x) Papa was super funny though. He was yawning but when he came by some straw hats he put one on and TRIED to act cool So funny, there were lots of people around! Then he started playng with kiddy sunglasses... This guy is amazing xD

I want to go back there and get some figurines and pretty display items so that when I clear my shelves of study materials I can place them there :D

I want more 两个笨蛋 outings ! (Actually dad calls our family 放屁家族 -farting family- )


两个笨蛋!!!

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dedicated to VANESSA (;

2006'10.11


MAPLE TREE
lyric & music by Masamune Kusano
(translation from: http://www.aoihayashi.com/spitz/spitz.html)

I won't forget even as time flows
our mischievous arguments
even my thorned heart
will be small and unimportant if you just smiled

from the hole we took turns peeking through
I wonder what could we see?
even though there were dreams
that we couldn't fulfill alone

good bye, embracing your voice I'll keep walking
ah.. I wonder how far can I get just as I am

I've been searching until the day I met you
those words that become nostalgic
beyond the glass
those stippling clouds had scattered until that day

with spirits so light
that seems could be blown away by the wind
though I believed in happiness just like everyone else

from now on even if I get hurt or hurt someone else
ah.. I wonder how far can I get just as I am

the long flickering season had come
names we used to call each other start echoing
can you hear it?


The brave little girl whom I'm proud of. :D

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魔法のコトバ 二人だけには解る

2006'10.09


魔法のコトバ -SPITZ

魔法のコトバ 二人だけにはわかる (Magical words which only the two of us understand)
夢見るとか そんな暇もないこの頃 (We no longer have time for dreaming)
思い出して おかしくてうれしくて (Remember those absurd times and the happy times too)
また会えるよ 約束しなくても (We'll meet again, even though I can't promise you that there's no need for promises)
*Checked at http://www.aoihayashi.com/spitz/flyrics.html and realised i translated the last line wrongly xd

I miss listening to Spitz, Southern All Stars and Mr.Children ! :(

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折り紙!

2006'10.06


The first photo is a photo of cranes made by Yana,
and the second is the くす玉折り紙 that I did.

It seems like the only thing I can do correctly and accurately, is Origami. なんで? I take things too personally, but whenever you make a comment, I feel like I did something wrong and I am responsible for it. 疲れたな…

-photos by Sylvia.

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Welcome to the Forbidden City;

2006'10.05


Took these at the gate of my house. (:

-photos by Sylvia.

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越人歌

2006'10.04
今夕何夕兮,搴舟中流。
今日何日兮,得与王子同舟。
蒙羞被好兮,不訾诟耻。
心几烦而不绝兮,得知王子。
山有木兮木有枝,
心悦君兮知不知?

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great expectations;

2006'10.01
Why do you put such expectations into me? Why am I expected to be nice to you? Why am I expected to know what I should do just like everyone else? Why am I not forgiven if I am clueless? It's so tiring, sometimes I feel like I just want to be alone so I don't need to think so much about what I do.

I don't want to live up to what you define as 'Sylvia' and then when expectations come crashing down I am just a piece of shit.

And YOU. You think you can push me over. In fact you think you can push everybody over. Don't use your games, it doesn't work anymore.

Then you, you, you and you. And the list goes on forever.

You see, being nice does not pay. It will only serve to make others build up their expectations of you, and you will realise one day, you're so tired from all the things you need to do.

And we should stop wasting our breath and shut up because nobody believes our words. It never matters what we meant from our actions. It only matters what our actions appeared to convey to that person and he/she will believe nothing else than what he/she wants to believe. Because we're all just pieces of shit, so of course our words are shit, right?

"Don't be so naive,
We believe what we want to believe."
-'Stories', Forbidden City

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