Well. Guess what? My computer has finally decided to get to Hawaii to take a break. I can't access anything except LOOK at the file thumbnails in my folders and access the internet. I hope it gets repaired soon. I am so glad there's practically no update for the NYConneXions website this time round.
Please don't tell me my video files will be gone! I haven't watched them yet! And I can't open Nero to burn them out.
Hmm. Great, my computer is having auto-shutdown now. In 44 seconds.
Studied like crazy at Liang Court yesterday with Vanessa but it turns out like it's going to be a fail. But it was fun anyway.
You can see the human side of him one day and the next day it's gone, and you wonder if they were the same person. But I do see him in a different light now. (:
I'm bombarded with HOMEWORK! Obviously tomorrow I won't have the time to do my homework. Do I really have to complete all of them today? I always whine about Mondays. I change my minds. Tuesday is the most horrible day of all. It's because I will have to sit in front of the computer at 11.30pm crying and wishing I could break the keyboard. The way teachers give us work is like we only take ONE A Level subject. And why do they have to all be due on Wednesday when 1) I'm not allowed to stay up late, 2) I'm never able to complete any homework on Tuesdays?
So when somebody complained about her workload I was pissed. I'd gladly swap my position with her. I'd rather write articles, thank you very much.
By the way Sylvia is a very violent girl teehee.
People won't understand how you feel even if they put themselves in your shoes.
Oh by the way, March 3rd is Hina Matsuri and the pretty Hello Kitty festive cards have been picked up already! (Short information on Hina Matsuri HERE.) It celebrates GIRLS' Day, and what's really special about it is the putting up of dolls! That Hello Kitty pop-up (I bought the last one at Kino) pops up into these stairs of dolls display , with the Emperor and Empress right at the top.
Super pretty. Shall take a photo of it next time.
I've finally got a new desk in my room too! Very cosy. But it seems like before I bought a new desk, the eggs have found their way to my previously new shelf. Why is it that only my room has them anyway?
I didn't catch Pride and Prejudice when it was on the big screen, so I bought the VCD yesterday. It's a really nice movie ! Even though it's still English, I love the language. It makes me want to read the book, but I wonder if I'm going to have any time.
You know, I have this hunch that I have to redo the CCA website, so I have to figure out how to survive my test and my essays this weekend up till next wednesday.
They honestly get me a little scared. It's only until they take a photo of a certain angle that I think they are cute. And when they move they actually look... graceful? So why did Tsuyoshi choose it anyway? He owns one haha xD But... They look special, in a way. No I am not being biased.
疲れた! I didn't do my homework over the weekend. And I spent four hours on the CCA website and ended up having to redo the whole thing again. You know what? I was so not made for designing websites. Why are all the designers IT-UNequipped?!
I can't keep my eyes open to do the website layout now.
Let's pretend History tutorial never existed?
Do you get the feeling that people often tell you the negative stuff about the new things you buy...
Okay who the heck cares about school stuff. I'm going to take a nap NOW.
Wahh why the medic die?! I thought his mouth looked cute. (Shucks don't I sound like a psycho? Ever since I thought Tsuyoshi's mouth looked like a triangle. Too tired to find a triangle smiley. If you find it in i-mode, tell me. ) By the way I was talking about Saving Private Ryan.
War movies make me feel sad.
Sometimes people really like to blow the little things up.
Me and Vanessa ! Ahahaha, this pair reminds me of Tsuyo-chan throwing his baseball cap down and glaring at Nino !
edit: FM 88.3, every Saturday 4-5pm, IN JAPAN radio show ! Sorry, a bit too excited, because Singapore's fanbase (perhaps due to population) isn't that large. They are playing 5 Centi by WaT! I'm surprised. Actually, not bad, they are pretty well-updated on the J-Pop industry.
Got a shock when my dad carried the radio set in with him and then I was thinking, OMG why is my dad playing my Seishun Amigo single?! And I realised it was the radio.
second edit: I change my mind. you know what the radio station said?? Pi is joining KAT-TUN. How inaccurate can you get right?!
I was browsing randomly in the school library today, taking a break from reading Great Expectations, when I wandered into the Philosophy/Psychology corner, and this book caught my eye:
Dying of Embarrassment: Help for Social Anxiety & Phobia
Guess what. I'm suffering from an anxiety disorder called Social Phobia. This is the explanation for so many things I've blogged about. It's what made me embarrassed to admit what I did because I had no idea that this disorder existed.
Naturally, I borrowed the book.
What really caught me was not the title, but what was written on the back of the cover:
If you suffer from social anxiety or social phobia, you may avoid eating in front of others, writing in public, using public restrooms, performing on stage, dating, taking tests, or speaking in public.
All of the above apply to me.
That's why I've always come up with the stupid excuse of not being hungry. Now you know why. It's really embarrassing to tell your friends you are afraid of eating in public so I lied. I was hungry, but I didn't feel comfortable eating outside.
If you ask me to change, you cannot simply click your fingers and snap at me, "You must change." And tell me a whole load of wisdom words and frighten me. It doesn't work this way. I don't really mind if the change comes slowly. I'm not Murakami Shingo, I cannot am unwilling to push myself to cause a BIG change.
How can you tell me to change when you don't know the solution to this...
17% of these disorder patients are later diagnosed with Panic Disorder.
But I think I can safely say I'm not one of them.
It's still hard for me to express myself recently.
And why does the alarm always have to sound whenever I borrow a book from the library?!
Give your loved one a box of DARS chocolates today. Sylvia is in love and addicted (AGAIN) to DARS chocolate after trying the Bitter Chocolate flavour ! Please save my pocket. After Hi-Chew comes DARS.
Should call him ＥＮＤＬＩＣＨＥＲＩ☆ＥＮＤＬＩＣＨＥＲＩ deshou? And I just found out that Endlicheri is a type of African fish. Tsuyo-chan wants to be an African fish? Haha. He and his love for fish !
Original Colour is a song I'd like to sit at home in the morning, alone, close my eyes and listen to. Something about the song made me feel happy. Somewhere among the whole album of moody songs, there seemed to be something comforting about how he sings:
The gentleness felt from the blueness of the sea Can it bring me happiness? You said you loved the colour green The shirt that you wanted me to buy Made the soft/gentle scene get Added with vibrant colours in beauty You see, we have used Original Colour.
It's not very accurate, because his songs are somewhat hard to comprehend most of the time, but I liked that part of the chorus. (:
And of course the second stanza where he sings:
The more I move forward, the more My heart feels heavy Although I've deliberately refrained from looking back Trying to be strong I still want to acknowldge that rush of emotions in my heart.
Gahhh. And, guess what I'm going to say? I relate to that. (Yess you probably were expecting that. )
I hate it when things come in dribs and drabs.
How many entries have I devoted solely to Tsuyo-chan already?! Until Kelly added Tsuyoshi next to my name in her links HAHA. So now it's Pi x Koyama x Tsuyoshi - Sylvia x)
I remember this last year! I learnt the dance from start to end through this. (: Fantastipo hahaaa. I still listen to it at school. But I've never watched the movie. Tsuyoshi and Taichi! You should see how Nakai keeps standing up to laugh at them behind. x)
And of course, the whole of Jyannis. :D Although that person up there really knows how to earn money. BUT, wow, I haven't spent on them recently! Fandom approach has to change this year. So that I can save up enough money by the end of the year. Maybe... A year + of fandom has made me consider and think through more before I get something teehee.
...And just when I was so determined to save up money, Tsuyoshi attacks my poor wallet by releasing a single AND an album.
Lately I find that it gets kind of hard to express myself in front of others.
An ordinary day can be fun too yo. (: Here's a video of a day in school which I thought was going to be very grumpy, but I ended up having fun. It's time to see how mad Sylvia is! Some parts are photos and there are two portions with videos.
*scroll down and turn off Velvet no Yami song first.
Photos and videos courtesy of Esther's digicam. :D
My character is a little bad. "Once I have something to say, I won't hesitate to say it all out!" That's why subconsciously I blurt everything out. If somebody says about me, "That guy makes my blood boil!" I'll just go into a corner. However, because everything I said is the truth, even if I retreat into a corner, I won't give in to others' opinions. I will bear responsibility for everything I've said. Eh? If I hear others talk bad about me? If ever I'm in this situation, I will humbly approach this person and clarify with him/her, "Did I offend you i any way? If you could tell me, I'd be glad to correct myself."
Basically, everyone feels that I'm a talkative person, But HaseJun is more talkative than me! Everytime he sees what I'm wearing, he will first comment, "This style of fashion is really tasteless." And then he will say, "Yamashita-kun always copies my style!" At this time I could only reply, "Oh I see!" Everytime I buy clothes, I always go to the shop where HaseJun frequents, so the same stuff we like are likely to be seen on both of us, but this kind of thing can't be helped! Akanishi-kun is also a talkative person. I often feel that he doesn't think before he speaks, and it seems as though his mouth and brain are stuck as one together.
I guess nobody realised, but I feel that this earth is rotating with Jin and HaseJun at its core, why do this type of people gather around me? Eh? Because I am magnanimous? I'm not! I'm not mananimous at all. Some time ago I had a quarrel with Jin, "Don't go overboard!" "I should be the one saying that!" Then I took up a copy of Wink Up at my side and his his head with it. The whole day after we quarrelled, there was an awkward tension between us. In the end, it was Jin who first magnanimously apologised to me. I really admire that straight-forward attitude, unlike myself, who do not know how to take the initiative to apologise. Perhaps this is because of my pride, of the fact that I don't want to bow down to others!
Actually, I'm a person who is afrai of strangers, so unless the person is someone I trust and am familiar with, I won't open up, that's why people always say I'm a person who "must take quite some time to tell the truth". Also, I get jealous easily yo! I don't like my girlfriend to talk to the guy living next door. What? If she discusses relationship issues with Toma? If it's like that I may break up with her yo! I hate a situation where the partner talks about her past romances, like "My previous boyfriend..." If she says that, I'd really feel like crying. Recently, is't there a tea advertisment? It'll be something like that! Because of that, I won't go near any other girl other than my girlfriend, because I feel that my girlfriend would be the most most important person,so I'd be fussy and call her on the phone every day to check on her!
What I've said today about my character probably won't change in the future! Although I have lots of shortcomings, I also have lots of good points, I am such a person yo!
-- ps: I replied some comments in the respective entries yo. (:
I am so quiet and shy that I am so afraid that people think I'm autistic and arrogant. I am not. I don't DAO people. But when people come visiting, I get so stressed because I feel so shy, so I don't even go outside to greet them. I sit at the computer reading my Nobuta book, pretending to be studying. So shall I keep up my studious, nerdy image to those people?
I am only loud and insane in front of people I know well and about my age.
I feel so guilty to look like I'm ignoring them, and they did give me angbaos!
Please understand my shyness, and see through that arrogant/nerdy/quiet look/image that I have.
And on top of that, I am NOT autistic. Someone ever said this to me before, that I was so quiet and DAO-looking that I seemed to be autistic. When I never did anything to her. Never insulted her. She thought it was an insult. And I don't want to mention her name anymore, in case I am accused. Anyway, I doubt she'd come by here. So it's alright.
And I apologise that I keep on bearing grudges and not dropping them.
I don't like people to misunderstand me, I want them to see past the exterior, but I came to realise that in this world, a lot of people you meet will form different impressions of you, and it doesn't matter, because not everybody has to know the real you. (:
And PS: this is not a depressing post! Self-discovery. :P
*edit: I don't like Yamapi-only fans who curse Kusano. :( Hmm well. It's their own opinion anyway. I'm hearing 'Ao no Jidai' on SC medley, and this song keeps bringing tears to my eyes, no matter who sings it. >_<
Eh. I get a bit... worried whenever I upload any JE photos/screencaps.
Anyway, Tsuyoshi had to do a batsu and pay for the yakiniku even if he didn't have any! (Last screepcap.) And because Chinatsu didn't want to give up on eating the yakiniku, she kept planning which time slots to rush back. Then Tsuyoshi said "aho" ! In the second screencap, Tsuyoshi gets an electric shock from the cable teehee. Speaking of the shocks, they kept letting "Sadako" (The Ring; Zhen Zi aka the girl who crawled out of the TV that made me uneasy in sleep for MONTHS gahhh) appear in front of the group! At least it wasn't really that alike to the "real" Sadako, or I'd just freak out and close the whole thing altogether.
Kekeke then there were the soldiers who came out and shouted "Sayonara!!" and captured Tsuyoshi. Soldier: "You Koichi??" Tsuyoshi: *stares at soldier*
And then the weather report station lady said "Domoto KOICHI-san is here!" And the other corrected her. x)
Oh and I haven't finish watching Shindoi Asa made SP. I fell asleep halfway at about 1 hour and 30 minutes. I still have 2 hours and 30 minutes to go. But Tsuyoshi sings at the later part of the video. :D
He was so disappointed that he had to go to work today, because it really spoilt his day. My dad is so enthusiastic about going out to shop or just to walk around, but then this woman told him last minute that he had to go to work! And he knew I was coming back for 3 hours, and was worried I might get hungry, and he made a ba gua sandwich for me! So sweeeeet. He left it above the fridge. I'm going to eat it on the way to school. :D
Oh man. Going back for that asshole's class later. What a waste of my time.
Life at school without my MP3 player is pure TORTURE!!! No JE music to rid the weariness away! So I sang to myself in class. I think I must've gone MADDER recently. I kept singing spastic sounding songs to my classmates. I usually don't even dare to hum a tune in front of them, but I started singing, and we laughed so much!
I was so tired yesterday, I fell asleep while watching Shoujiki Shindoi. And I'm so hungry now I decided to eat the ba gua sandwich. x)
Someiyoshino sounds......... peaceful? I want to know what he's singing! So do I get the single or not?