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frozen inside;

It feels funny to listen to Evanescence again. I just randomly picked a CD. Recently I started liking Within Temptation but I don't have their albums. Their songs are like rock songs with Celtic touches to them.

Yeah lots of things have happened lately, both happy and not-so-happy. I went to the zoo with Faith on Thursday, and we spent a lot of time on the swings instead of looking at the animals. It was a happy trip even though it did start to drizzle and all the animals were lethargic and kept on sneezing (which was kinda cute though). Hmm okay except the Baboons and the Black Bears. They fought a lot.

I think the scariest "fight" which we witnessed was when two Baboons, one of which was one of the Leaders there, started quarrelling. I think the other was some sort of "wife". The big "husband" baboon sat there saying nothing and just looking ahead, and then the female kept on shouting and scolding him. He looked damn pissed off lah! Finally he couldn't take it and bit her on the neck, and it hurt so much that the female could only gape in pain but no sound came out. Her expression looked almost as if she were about to cry. But then later without a word, they patched up and she helped the big guy take out fleas from his fur.

After that, it made me think how similar humans are with the monkeys. (I mean, I guess all living things have things in common too, but at that moment I saw it in the baboons.) Other than the facial expressions, the way they move and sit, the way they quarrel with each other. And I think baboons are better people than us.

This is a video during the Polar Bears' feeding time which I captured:

Sheba is waving :DDDD (Actually I believe it's because she has seen the zookeeper holding up the fish hahhhh.) Inuka wil be sent away when Sheba passes away.

Then I met up with Yana on Saturday, and we took this photo with her camera!

We went to Bras Basah Complex and had a good spree at Popular for stationery xD And I finally tasted たこやき again! 幸せの気持ちなぁ~~ ありがとう for the presents, Yana! <3 Oh!! We went to the Central Lending Library and Yana helped me find Daughter of the Forest! After 2 years. X_X

The other thing is that on Friday, I went to work as a store assistant at Chinatown. I have a feeling that the boss never meant to keep us at all. And that day, I learnt what prejudice is. Anyway they were quite 不守信用 because they went back on their promises and selfishly made decisions. Yeah I know in business you have to be selfish, but in the first place, don't employ us.

Sometimes I think that things like trust, pride, unity and all those cheesy words, they don't mean a thing for survival anymore today, because today, MONEY=SURVIVAL. Maybe it's because money is a universally understood thing, so everyone prefers to survive through it, and not risk any other way, since humans are afraid of the unknown.

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New Year fireworks at Esplanade Waterfront 2007. Apologies for the shaking because I wasn't looking at the screen more than half the time. (Who would?!) 花火がすごくきれいよ~

Quanmin and I never did plan to go look at the fireworks, and to me, it had not been the start of a new year. I felt like there were no new goals, only the passing of each day. But then I got tempted by just the mention of fireworks, so we met Jiawei after that, and went off to the Esplanade.

It was unpleasant at the start, stuffy, crowded, and having a terrible time navigating through the 'tai-tai'-ish crowd. But when the fireworks came, it made us forget all that. Except, it all came back when we were making our way home. Anyway, the TV crew was right in front of us, and they was kind of a source of entertainment for having to wait two hours for the fireworks display.

As we made our way home, the crowd was impossible. The Singaporean kiasu-ism spirit began to heat up. As we were making our way into the Esplanade through the tiny door, the crowd behind us got so excited as though they were going to rush for some goodie bag, and started pushing until I was wondering if they would push so hard that the glass walls would break.

I think one of the amusing things about life is that the funny things we see in comedies actually happen in real life. Like people living in the apartments above splashing water onto the people on the street! -sylvia dodges. xP It kind of pissed me off when it happened, but thinking back on it makes me laugh.

But it all felt surreal the next day. Like as if the fireworks were something of another world we entered. A sort of momentary bliss which evaporates the instant that last spark disappears.

I couldn't get sleep last night, thinking about a few things. 例えば...
五、サイレント・ヒウール (Silent Hill)

I didn't watch the whole show, but my dad was watching it, so I caught the last part while having dinner (that was kind of gross). Even though Sean Bean was inside the movie, I don't like watching gruesome movies. I think the thing that scares me is not about how gruesome all the splattering flesh and blood is, but the fact that it surrounds religion, again. (Okay, I'm not very sure about this, because I never caught the whole movie.) I was sort of disturbed by 「The Da Vinci Code」 too, even though I thought it was not really a good movie, because of the extent to which people can do horrifying things because of religion. And I don't know how a beautiful religion can have been made into such terrifying motivation when interpreted by different people.

Ballad of the Pimp (Japanese) - Maya Miki and "Jenny Diver"; The Threepenny Opera

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on komodo dragons.

Virgin Birth For Komodo Dragons: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061220/sc_nm/britain_dragons_dc

すごいね~ And what perfect timing for such a discovery so near Christmas! (Except, mating their own mother...?) Reminds me of the song 「Ordinary Miracle」 by Sarah McLachlan, which is on the Charlotte's Web soundtrack. At first when I heard it, I didn't know why the song was titled "Ordinary Miracle", until I read the book:

'Do you understand how there could be any writing in a spider's web?'

'Oh, no,' said Dr Dorian. 'I don't understand it. But for that matter I don't understand how a spider learned to spin a web in the first place. When the words appeared, everyone said they were a miracle. But nobody pointed out that the web itself is a miracle.'

The world is full of miracles which we don't see!

I'm going to catch the movie on Friday with my dad. (: PIGS. I hated spiders before I read the novel (which is why I can't stand to play the Chamber of Secrets PC game anymore), but after I read it, I got to admire spiders, even though I still don't like them.

Caught 「太陽の歌」 with Vanessa yesterday. (I refuse to acknowledge that the title is translated into MIDNIGHT SUN!) But it was quite disappointing. Although that 「Stand Up!」 guy was quite amusing with his バカ faces. I kept wanting the toilet though, which was really frustrating. We had cakes at TCC (again hahh!) and stoned for a while... It wasn't the movie I was looking forward to, actually. =x Just wanted to do some catching up. I felt quite sad that after As started, we never got to see each other anymore. (I mean, yeah we see each other in the exam hall and say 'good luck' but that doesn't count!)

Been wanting to exercise but there's always some reason which stops me from doing so. And I feel darn bad to Faith. Really. I owe you a favour for having postponed it again and again.

I don't think I'm getting 「I album」 , because I am entirely broke! I owe people money... ごめん!!

Tomorrow's the dateline for the fanfic contest so I better finish it off later! But when I read it and I think of the storyline, it's not...just not up to my previous "standard" (if I even had any!) I think I read too much of Jane Austen and Charles DIckens and Tolkien that I started to concentrate on details and became too longwinded. I can't work with word limits.

life is like a gift they say
wrapped up for you everyday
open up and find a way
to give some of your own

-"Ordinary Miracle', performed by Sarah McLachlan; Charlotte's Web OST.

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忙しそうな街に 埋もれない優しさがある ;

 空風の帰り道 - Mr.Children

Random start, but I was thinking of using yaplog, since it has 5gb of space and OMG MAGICAL MAKER. But then they have a character limit of 5000 for each post, and for this long-winded お婆ちゃん here, it's definitely not even half enough. And I feel attached to this fc2 blog already.

edit: check out my new photo blog. <3 It's not exactly a "photo blog" entirely, but yeah, more of photos with people in it. ...because I like to use the agical maker function. xD

I met Vicky, Cindi and Sky yesterday! 本当にありがとう! It's really the best birthday outing I've had in a decade. LOL. And thanks for the presents. すきすき! ごめん! I was so shy and quiet when I first met you all! We ate at Ramen Ten, and had cake at TCC (is it called 'The Coffee Connossieur'...?) 美味しい!!!

Cindi works as a tour guide, and she gets to bring Japanese school boys and girls around Singapore.. LOL she shared her experiences with us and it was SO SO SO HILARIOUS! (And, er, as expected, I burst into my usual laughter again. ) LOL and then we were talking about fanfics, and Vicky was telling us about a deserted island story.. HAHAHAHA that was darn funny too xD

Oh and I really liked the Nobuta candle-blowing activity. Cindi drew candles on the tissue (shucks I forgot what it's called) and after i made a wish and blew out the candles, she covered the candle flames with another tissue

Guess what, I bought another dress. Can you believe this? OMG. i've been spending too much on clothes. Anyway this one is entirely black, with a red belt. It actually looks like my brown one, the first dress I ever bought, except that this belt is hard and the one on my brown dress is a self-tie ribbon. My mum didn't scold when I got home, can you believe that? I was staring at her, waiting for her to scold me and she didn't. Speaking of buying stuff I also bought a Kinki Kids poster HAHA. And guess what, although it's small and unofficial, it's actually my first KK poster. X_X

We all went to take purikura at Heeren:

*For Vicky Cindi and Sky, the original scan sizes are here(click to enlarge):
img270original.jpg img272original.jpg img274original.jpg img275original.jpg

MY FACE ALWAYS LOOKS THE SAME LAH. I am so so so UNcreative in poses. We messed up a little on the first machine, and in the end we all got very huge purikura prints xD But it didn't matter, because who wouldn't mind having another go? xP (Honestly whenever we go out in a group of at least four, there's NEVER such a thing as taking neoprints at only ONE machine.)

The nicest thing about fangirling/fandom is actually not the part about "drooling" over pretty boys. It's the community. (: You have no idea. x)

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solo resto coi ricordi domani tutto finira;


I don't think Chinese characters would show up so I print screen-ed instead.

I took lots of photos recently (as in, not of myself, but of stuff I bought etc), but I'm lazy to edit and post them up.

My dad got me that dress from Pull And Bear which reminded me of Tsuyoshi, but I didn't get the purple one though (which would REALLY have been Tsuyo-style!) because I think the brown one suited me more. Purple was just a bit too loud. I never seem to look good in purple. Every single time I go out with my dad I feel guilty because I spend without thinking! Get me a job so I can give my parents money.. Guess what? He bought me December's Duet magazine! Uwaaa. And then we went to Daiso and he picked up this cute froggy ashtray for himself and I got random stuff like bells and 和風 origami paper. And my mum actually sponsored $50 for that dress.. Deep down inside I was really touched. Not for being able to buy that dress, but for my mum actually wanting to pamper me deeeeep down inside. Suddenly the dress became really insignificant as compared to this feeling.

Boo. I really want to earn money and pamper my parents now.

I have been addicted to green tea recently.

Oh, and I went out with my gang, minus Esther cos she was sick , on Thursday, since Waiyan had to fly off to Hong Kong the next day. We had lunch at Sakae Sushi, haha. I want some more.

Estherrrrrrr, we haven't gone to Vivocity together yet.

But for now, I have overspent in merely 3 days. It's the post-As spirit.

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わぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ~ Somebody stop me from changing blogskins! I still like my previous though.

I'm almost done for European History. That is, content-wise. But I am so dead for econs and SEA History! Super tired. And I'm still slacking. When am I going to learn? Some miracle might save me. I feel that a laminated certificate isn't "life" but it is for life, no matter how unfortunate that is. What's my 12 years of studying going to churn out?

Guess what? I'm addicted to Goong!! I must be the last person in my clique to have got hooked onto it (hm except Wai Yan, but I don't think she likes Japanese/Korean dramas). But I forced myself to stop at the third episode because I needed to finish up Russian Revolution. Oh, and do a bit of Econs. I actually think that when Yul gets emotional and looks at the ground, he looks like Tegoshi. The same baby face xD

When I look at the Jyannis boys, I get motivated to study, because even people like Tegoshi who hate studying can get into Waseda! And Sho at Kei-o and Yamapi and Keii-chan in Meiji University... Then there are people who never 'completed' their education (is it ever possible to complete education?) have made it... But when I think again, the people who have gotten into these top five Japanese universities have worked a hundred times harder than me, and even if they couldn't go to university... They were in JE already, they had a pretty much stable job and future (as long as they don't do anything wrong), and they don't have to worry. Or else if -touchwood- they had to pick another path, they would probably be well-trained by the challenging industry. University for them is an alternative route.

But for me, it's almost the only route. Because there's nothing I can really do other than studying, at present. Then I ask myself, why am I not working harder? In this world, to survive, you have to be useful to society, and not yourself. I don't know, people say you can fulfil both, but it's not that easy, is it?

Youthful Days - Mr.Children

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見て見て! アリスのファイルよ! きれいでしょう? 紀伊国屋に見つけたんだ。 すごく嬉しいですよ!

I bet there's grammar mistakes in there but who cares?

I'm having a bit of a cold. I guess it's because of the weather, it's been raining recently.

I went to Liang Court to 勉強 with みちゃん yesterday! 楽しいです! We met "big shot" people haha. And also a person who talked really loudly when she was talking about 「Death Note」, as though she was showing off that she knew a lot about Death Note. HAHAHHH.

At 紀伊国屋 we saw 「Snap no Shingo」 and Tsuyo's photobook, both of which could not be opened to be browsed through...

<--this will forever remind me of MASSU. HAHA! The ブタ-lover.

When will お金 drop from the sky so that we can get to 日本??!

Boo I really admire (yeah correct word to use!) みちゃん’s 折り紙 cranes! Darn. Let's get that 折り紙 book and after our 大変 times we can have some sort of er..... 折り紙 festival! Haha! I want to fold that onigiri. It really amused me to no end. Heh.

山下智久 doesn't smile in photoshoots anymore... Actually, I kind of missed his skinny face.

We were at 明治屋 before we went home, then we paused and heard KinKi Kids Pretty old songs, but very happy too ! We heard that song that goes, 「愛されるよりも...」...something like that. And yeaaaaahhh there was Jetcoaster Romance which I secretly like a lot! It makes me really happy. Oooh and not forgetting 夏の王様。 「オエオエ!」(To which みちゃん replied, "Oh eh 个屁啊!")

Random Things:
1) I want to watch Sample Bang again.
2) みちゃん only just knew recently that Uchi was imitating Winnie the Pooh on 堂本兄弟! -akira SHOCK-
3) I still want to write fanfics.
4) I always manage to miss NaNoWriMo every year. (National November Writing Month)
5) I forgot the hand actions to News Nippon, Kirameki no kanata E, Teppen, Venus and Sakura Tasuku Uta.
6) I miss watching Shounen Club.
7) I miss the Nobuta season when Pi kept acting drunk/baka on Shounen Club.
8) I miss baka Jin.
9) I am still convinced that Ueda is a girl.
10) Happy birthday to both Koki and Esther.
11) I got Hiro-chan's file for my birthday present! (From みちゃん!)

12) I owe her two years' worth of presents.
13) Tell me who kept saying 「まじで?!」 Was it Pi?
14) KEN-KEN!
15) I miss calling Tammy "Mrs.Yamashita"!
16) Read one of Shige's jweb entries on Binan No Nikki, and Keii-chan gives the most amusing road directions. x)
17) I miss reading jweb entries ! Used to read every one posted up.
18) I miss Keii-chan!

Before I end, I want to say...
OMG I WANT 「Harmony of December」 single!
Yeaaaahhhhh it sounded more like a 春 song. But it's okay, I love KinKi Kids' songs like that. (:

 虹を見たんだ そこで世界は変わった。
(僕らの音 - Mr.Children)

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life is a routine;


Lol. I and Esther found this from the postcard stand at Liang Court. (:

Eyecandy のシーズンが終わった!! It was fantastic distraction on a Sunday anyway teehee.  あれ?! ...I just found out how to input in romaji... But in a way I'm pretty much used to typing using kana input already.


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Apparently I couldn't keep my blog on hiatus for long , because something happy happened today, even though I'm still feeling quite horrible. There are many wonderful things eyes can do. But at the same time, eyes can do such horrible things to you.

I saw the cutest Japanese guy I ever saw in Singapore today at Meidi-ya when he asked me and Vanessa to try the food at the Osaka Food Fair. The pretty boy with the gangster hair. Who has such big lovely eyes that totally made my weekend. (:

Though it didn't mean I solved everything that was on my mind. But Liang Court has always been my little place of escape. Yea anyway that guy was super キレイ、カッコイイと可愛い!

I learnt that it doesn't matter whether you meant to hurt a person or not, but only the fact that you hurt that person matters. In any case I didn't mean any harm, but I don't ask for forgiveness either. It was one of the worst things I ever did to a friend, perhaps even the worst itself. I did unto others what others did unto me six years ago without knowing. ):

Things will never be the same anymore. I wonder if it was necessary to have kept a distance from others before you cycled to the top of the hill and realise it was so much steeper on the other side. So down you go and hurt the person who was merely a little in front of you on that hill. The worst thing was that I did not even know how to cycle.

you walk past me
i can feel your pain
time changes everything
one truth always stays the same
you're still you
i look up to
everything you are
in my eyes you do no wrong
and I believe in you
although you never asked me to
i will remember you
and what life put you through

-josh groban.

it's time to let go.

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Singapore Fireworks Festival - Team France


Above video captured by me. I apologise for the shaky video because I wasn't watching the screen but the sky itself instead. Cut out some parts where there was music but no fireworks, to size it down to less than 10minutes for YouTube posting. (If you're wondering why the video sometimes get quiet, it's because I kept switching hands to hold the camera and while watching the sky I didn't realise I covered the audio-input area.) Oh, and plus towards the end I cut the video off because I wanted to take a photo of the finale. So here's a video of the end I found online:

*28secs video by harperlp.

The display was magnificent. (: Yesterday's was the best ! It was entitled "Celebration of Life", choreographed by France's fireworks team. Though perhaps every team actually used the same types of fireworks, they managed to beautifully present very colourful and meaningful themes.

For "Celebration of Life", it reminded me of growth in life, from tiny, shimmering, green buds/seeds of fireworks that resembled the birth of life on earth, very quietly, gently and gracefully, to suddenly bursting out with energy and happiness. Through many difficulties and unhappiness beautifully represented by red and green and gold fireworks, to emotions of sadness from golden fireworks slowly falling to the dark pits of the Marina Bay, rainbow-coloured fireworks shoot out after that, and drives away the unhappiness. The finale, a massive shower of gold reminds us of how rich our lives are, no matter what unhappiness there might be. (And actually, I really felt like we were showered by golden sparks literally. They were AWESOME. It's something watching a video of fireworks cannot express.)

I never saw fireworks as anything more than pretty lights going "pop-pop-pop" before. It was a really happy albeit tiring trip. :)

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「あの香りとともに 花火がぱっと開く 」


Singapore Fireworks Festival:
11th August, Team: New Caledonia.

Sorry, cut the video into parts because i shuffled between photo-taking and videoing. The photos were, unfortunately, horrendous. The full-length display is available on youtube, and if I get to transfer the thing from my dad's handycam, I'll upload the whole thing. :) Going to watch France's display today !



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the stars fade and you'll still have the flowers.


I was out with dear Faith yesterday, half-studying, half catching up with each other.
Life spans
strawberry sundaes
cheese sticks
and imagining quanmin in our heads xD

(it's not a photo. it's a scan of my new file. )

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プリクラ !


"I feel like taking neoprints."
-stare at each other for 10 seconds-

(I finally have a scanner :D)

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Dear Yahoo!: If one person yawns, why does everyone else in the room want to yawn? Lynn Garland, Texas

 Dear Lynn: Yawning is extremely contagious -- 55% of people who witness someone yawn will yawn within five minutes. If a visually impaired person hears a tape of someone yawning, he or she is likely to yawn as well. Face it, the likelihood of you making it to the end of this answer without looking like one of these gaping maws is unlikely. Although the contagious nature of yawning is well established, we know less about why this is so. Researchers are currently giving the topic some serious attention. One theory suggests it's a holdover from a period in evolutionary history when yawning served to coordinate the social behavior of a group of animals. A recent study postulates that contagious yawning could be part of the "neural network involved in empathy." While the mystery of contagious yawning has yet to be solved, perhaps researchers are closing in on an answer. On the other hand, given the subject matter, we wouldn't blame them for falling asleep at the wheel. In the meantime, give the "yawn challenge" a try -- it's tougher than it looks.

Went out with Eewei today. She got two new novels, and I got my third volume of 『NANA』! Also bought myself 可愛い stickers and something for both me and Vanessa. (: きゃぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ~ すごく可愛いよ! Want to take a photo for it but I'll give away what it is. Saw another set of cute stickers with words like 「天才」、「キター! キター! 」、「笑」、et cetera on them.

 夏はいいね?! I miss miss miss writing. Last night I thought of the things I've written and I fell asleep. It was such a happy feeling. 幸せ~ But now it's not the time to write anymore な。

Haven't laughed like that in a long time. With Eewei anything is really funny.

Took photos on the way home of the clouds and also before the exam started. Shall upload them tomorrow if I'm not procrastinating. x) It was the second time I saw dark but yet beautiful rays shooting out from above a big pure white cloud. 感動しました! Okay that's kind of exaggerating.

"Rotten sponge! Can sponge rot?"
"Rotton sponge expanded!"
"A big orange cloud is passing the rotten sponge!"
"It's the smoke from our exam-smoking."

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round a corner;


"Who cares what other people think?" -Sally; PEANUTS by Charles M. Schulz

Someday I'll be able to say that too

I was so engrossed in reading Pride and Prejudice last night that I slept at 3am in the morning. I felt amused when Mr. Darcy exclaimed, "Good God! what is the matter?" cried he, with more feeling than politeness; then recollecting himself. Sudden burst of emotion xD Wickham in the novel is much more detestable than in the movie. Somehow when I replay the movie in my mind, Orlando Bloom appears as Wickham instead of the original actor. ...That's like saying he looks like a cheat. Oops. (Sometimes I wonder if I say something unpleasant about Orlando Bloom, will his fans come murdering me? )

I have a lot more to study for mid-years. I haven't done half of history, nor one-third of Econs, but I'm done with Literature. That was the only subject I had passion in studying for. 勉強-ing for Russian Revolution today !

It feels weird to blog like this again. (You know... like, writing paragraph after paragraph.) I'm too used to blogging with a photo and then some random lines I think up of.

I just finished the trilogy and now I want to rewatch it again. Good grief.

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?

oh my gosh. xD

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Didn't turn out like what I wanted her to look like x(
But it was fun drawing with my new pencil and sketchbook anyway
Haven't been drawing or writing much.

trip to liang court with VK was 最高!!
fries are just -ラブラブ- 
rugby ball for you !

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6:53a.m, 「blue berry」 addiction

Blue Berry - Domoto Tsuyoshi

10 minutes before school. (:
Aimless Blogging.
Who cares?

Blue Berry makes me absolutely happy ! Seeing つよちゃん sway early in the morning is ラブラブ!

...I miss fangirling.

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a new level of view.


track track track !

Saw Esther in relay today.
So darn cool.
I have this sudden admiration for Esther,
and it's a higher level than admiring her for her
happy-go-lucky, cheerful, artistic nature
But wow.

This is like Pip having a new level of respect for Joe.
After all, we are fellow-sufferers. (:

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just married.


We just got married. (Just kidding.)
This is the cutest asshole I've ever seen. xD
Third post of the day. (:

★ i swear i wont cry, even as tears fill my eyes ; 嵐 ☆★:
you secretly love me deep down inside!
☆白いちゃん 『 F I R E L I G H T 』 ♦ light up, light up, as if you had a choice.:
I, Sylvia, confess that I am deeply in love with Vanessa Kong Xi Min, the girl who claims she is balding and fat, but in actually fact is the opposite. She is my oxygen, my carbon dioxide and all the elements in the periodic table. Speaking of which as Sylvia is having her BIG AUNT over she hates to type the word 'period'.
☆白いちゃん 『 F I R E L I G H T 』 ♦ light up, light up, as if you had a choice.:
i can't stand it, i'm crapping more and more
★ i swear i wont cry, even as tears fill my eyes ; 嵐 ☆★:
★ i swear i wont cry, even as tears fill my eyes ; 嵐 ☆★:
i do!

...we're jealous of that more than 180cm boy who has an ipod that can play videos.

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I saw my first rainbow after the storm.

Yes and I feel great now. (: I guess I was just seeking a way to end it, but I really didn't know what to do. But I'm glad it's done.

So I can return to Esther and be a mad person again. xD I miss crapping with her. LOL.

And I realised what wonderful friends I have. Mrs Gan rocks haha.

Sylvia returns !

...horny Quanmin.

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...I'm off to school. :x

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eventless seven days.

It's been more than a week and I haven't watched 「クロサギ」! Because the raw version didn't come out with soft subs.

I feel like I haven't blogged in ages. ...and somebody stop me from changing layouts.

A few days ago we had this council nominees Q&A session to see who was going to run for the student council this year. Hmm. It didn't really help me learn more about the nominees. So I voted for three only.

And then during the session we suddenly launched into this debate over whether the Year Ones show respect for the year twos or not. ...I think I sound immature saying this but I don't like this year's J1s. By saying we should show them respect first, they are saying that we don't respect them FIRST, so they are not showing us respect in return. Why can't it be the other way round?

Then there was this guy who said it's not about Year one or two, but everyone should show respect regardless of level. Eyy but then the next speaker said the LIT j1 wasn't at fault because he didn't target it specifically at J2s, but at anyone who passed by. Then what about the mutual respect regardless of level?!

Then that nominee accused us of stereotyping when he asked for an example himself. Actually he can just ask anybody in that lecture hall for an example of rude J1s. Even outside of school they aren't exactly very nice people. Me and VK were at みせ and we saw this group of Year One j-pop fans. I kind of wanted to know them better because there aren't a lot of fans in our school but then they were darn rude and I didn't want to know them anymore. Pooh they acted like nobody was in the store.

I guess I'm being very unfair to not like the j1s just because of some/several students but they represent their level and they spoilt their levels image, so...


...by a little girl who drinks black coffee but appears childish.

ps: Vanessaちゃん、ありがとう! 下一次再一起去LIANG COURTよ! 楽しいです。

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Rainbow Star;


I grew to love this light because Tsuyoshi's concert is called Rainbow Star. x) My dad got it from his company dinner or something.

Just recovered from a horrible headache and I'm researching for GP now. :(

BLEAH. I want a camera with better video capabilities.

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morning leads to a week.

I hate having to wake up to a bad start in the morning. And because of one morning, I feel like my whole week is spoilt.

This sucks.

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You can't see any sign to tell you something is moving. But you can feel it. And it's nice to stand by the window before lesson and feel the wind watching you. (:

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i miss drawing.

I want to draw.

Well. Guess what? My computer has finally decided to get to Hawaii to take a break. I can't access anything except LOOK at the file thumbnails in my folders and access the internet. I hope it gets repaired soon. I am so glad there's practically no update for the NYConneXions website this time round.

Please don't tell me my video files will be gone! I haven't watched them yet! And I can't open Nero to burn them out.

Hmm. Great, my computer is having auto-shutdown now. In 44 seconds.

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Tuesdays suck like nobody's business.

N's Aoi Opening Theme

Receiving little notes in school is .

Studied like crazy at Liang Court yesterday with Vanessa but it turns out like it's going to be a fail. But it was fun anyway.

You can see the human side of him one day and the next day it's gone, and you wonder if they were the same person. But I do see him in a different light now. (:

I'm bombarded with HOMEWORK! Obviously tomorrow I won't have the time to do my homework. Do I really have to complete all of them today? I always whine about Mondays. I change my minds. Tuesday is the most horrible day of all. It's because I will have to sit in front of the computer at 11.30pm crying and wishing I could break the keyboard. The way teachers give us work is like we only take ONE A Level subject. And why do they have to all be due on Wednesday when 1) I'm not allowed to stay up late, 2) I'm never able to complete any homework on Tuesdays?

So when somebody complained about her workload I was pissed. I'd gladly swap my position with her. I'd rather write articles, thank you very much.

By the way Sylvia is a very violent girl teehee.

People won't understand how you feel even if they put themselves in your shoes.

Benkyo ikimasu.

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99% Liberty

Got hooked onto this song all over again.

疲れた! I didn't do my homework over the weekend. And I spent four hours on the CCA website and ended up having to redo the whole thing again. You know what? I was so not made for designing websites. Why are all the designers IT-UNequipped?!

I can't keep my eyes open to do the website layout now.

Let's pretend History tutorial never existed?

Do you get the feeling that people often tell you the negative stuff about the new things you buy...

Okay who the heck cares about school stuff. I'm going to take a nap NOW.

Wahh why the medic die?! I thought his mouth looked cute. (Shucks don't I sound like a psycho? Ever since I thought Tsuyoshi's mouth looked like a triangle. Too tired to find a triangle smiley. If you find it in i-mode, tell me. ) By the way I was talking about Saving Private Ryan.

War movies make me feel sad.

Sometimes people really like to blow the little things up.

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they are looking;

I was browsing randomly in the school library today, taking a break from reading Great Expectations, when I wandered into the Philosophy/Psychology corner, and this book caught my eye:

Dying of Embarrassment: Help for Social Anxiety & Phobia

Guess what. I'm suffering from an anxiety disorder called Social Phobia. This is the explanation for so many things I've blogged about. It's what made me embarrassed to admit what I did because I had no idea that this disorder existed.

Naturally, I borrowed the book.

What really caught me was not the title, but what was written on the back of the cover:

If you suffer from social anxiety or social phobia, you may avoid eating in front of others, writing in public, using public restrooms, performing on stage, dating, taking tests, or speaking in public.

All of the above apply to me.

That's why I've always come up with the stupid excuse of not being hungry. Now you know why. It's really embarrassing to tell your friends you are afraid of eating in public so I lied. I was hungry, but I didn't feel comfortable eating outside.

If you ask me to change, you cannot simply click your fingers and snap at me, "You must change." And tell me a whole load of wisdom words and frighten me. It doesn't work this way. I don't really mind if the change comes slowly. I'm not Murakami Shingo, I cannot am unwilling to push myself to cause a BIG change.

How can you tell me to change when you don't know the solution to this...

17% of these disorder patients are later diagnosed with Panic Disorder.

But I think I can safely say I'm not one of them.

It's still hard for me to express myself recently.

And why does the alarm always have to sound whenever I borrow a book from the library?!

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a day at school.

An ordinary day can be fun too yo. (:
Here's a video of a day in school which I thought was going to be very grumpy, but I ended up having fun. It's time to see how mad Sylvia is!
Some parts are photos and there are two portions with videos.

*scroll down and turn off Velvet no Yami song first.

Photos and videos courtesy of Esther's digicam. :D

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